Conversations and Relationships

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Conversations and Relationships

“May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.” 2 Peter 1:2-4

In our relationships our conversations, we tend to be reactive. When we are reactive in our relationships, we function like participants rather than players. When you operate “in the stands” in our relationships, you become mere witnesses of your life. Many times, we make complaints in our relationships that do not cause anything to materialize or cause any change to occur. Sometimes, we keep quiet in our relationships, somehow hoping that something would arise out of our silence. Another way by which we can make sure that we do not merely operate “in the stands” in our relationships is to engage in conversations for action. A conversation for action is a re-creative conversation, because you create something in your mind and you re-create it through your language. Essentially, conversations for action prompt us, as well as those around us, to act or do something in our relationships. A request is an example of a “speech act” we use in a conversation for action. Speech acts in general are words that bring forth action. In a request, a speaker asks a listener to take care of something that the speaker is concerned about (Flores, 2012). It is important for us to make requests in order for action to occur.Simply making comments, or even keeping quiet isn’t likely to bring about change. You need to re-create through your language. We often hope or expect others to change their behavior or attitude, but we do not create new conversations. The only way for another person to act in our relationships is to translate our ideas into speech acts and engage ourselves in conversations for action.

Generation Action through our Lanugage Requests and promises generate action in our relationships, something that leaders are very familiar with. Leaders are expected to be on the move, but it should not be done in a hasty manner. Leaders need to concern themselves as to the source of action within relationships. An action that is based or motivated by an opinion, an assessment, or an interpretation gives way to an incremental improvement. However, an action that is driven by a new possibility establishes a different future. This is what leaders are aiming for—actions that break the cycle of an incremental improvement and which are motivated by declarations and new possibilities. This is something you create through language. Handling our conversations in our relationships start with minimizing past conversations and trumping the vicious cycle. This takes place the moment you declare a new possibility. And when you have gathered enough support for establishing that new possibility, the shift on the conversation into the domain action occurs by making requests and promises. All you need to do is shift the conversation first from the past, to the future, and then, to the present. It’s a three-step process: 1) Stop all past conversations, 2) shift into the future, and 3) shift into the present. Conceptually, this sounds rather simple but we cannot underestimate human nature as a factor that can disintegrate even our most powerful future-driven action over time and drift us back to the past. We need to be vigilant. It may help to keep that driving force at its utmost by having the same conversation with the same people, as well as sharing the conversation with a lot more individuals. Most of the time, the circle of people in the conversation grows over time as a new possibility starts to take shape.

Please plan to join us for the Sacred Relationships Conference. gain a wealth of knowledge to operate successfully within your relationships. Call 212-316-2177 to Register TODAY! Seating for this event is Limited!